Directed by David Gordon Green Trancas International Films/Rough House Pictures/Universal Pictures/Miramax/Blumhouse You remember in the remake of Friday the 13th how Jason had that underground lair? Well, Mikey Myers sorta has one of those in this idiotic picture, which additionally curries some Final Chapter/New Beginning zest. Which I guess is fitting, since this rebooted trilogy … Continue reading Halloween Ends (2022)
Directed by David Gordon Green BLUMHOUSE PRODUCTIONS/MIRAMAX/TRANCAS INTERNATIONAL FILMS/ROUGH HOUSE PICTURES/Home Again Productions I don’t really have anything positive to say about this picture, so let’s go ahead and make that one fact nice and sparkling clear. What I have, instead, is what may pass for a philosophical question, especially within the realm of a … Continue reading Halloween Kills (2021)
directed by jag mundhra spencer films WHAT to say about this affair, other than that it’s off the charts in terms of unintentional hilarity. Although crammed full of cinematic signifiers – by which I mean events and occurrences happening only because a movie is being filmed – there’s so much more to it than shadings … Continue reading Hack-O-Lantern aka Halloween Night aka Death Mask (1988)
written and directed by rob zombie dimension films/trancas international films/spectacle entertainment group In a way the definitive Rob Zombie picture, this sequel to his remake of the first Carpenter horror classic basically only makes a dent because of that lineage. I mean, if this were only a movie about just some random psycho killing people … Continue reading Halloween II (2009)
directed by rick rosenthal dino de laurentiis corporation One of those movies where I recognize certain scenes but don’t remember much else besides, this once-and-future sequel – for now, it’s been written out of the canon – is mainly notable for introducing Michael M. to the cinematic world of the bored spree killer who begins … Continue reading Halloween II (1981)
DIRECTED BY DAVID GORDON GREEN BLUMHOUSE PRODUCTIONS/MIRAMAX/TRANCAS INTERNATIONAL FILMS/ROUGH HOUSE PICTURES/UNIVERSAL Okay, look, I don’t particularly care that they’ve rejiggered the canon so this is the “sequel” to the 1978 original; it may as well be considered the true successor to Rob Zombie’s 2007 reboot for as much cachet as that accords it. “Michael Myers” … Continue reading Halloween (2018)
Directed by Bruce Hunt Lakeshore Entertainment/City Productions/Cineblue Trying to decide how to introduce this silly wannabe-blockbuster action thriller, I realized I should just state the facts: I decided to watch The Cave precisely because I knew what I could expect to get from the experience. See, I was in the mood for a fair-to-middling production … Continue reading The Cave (2005)
Directed by David Blue Garcia Legendary Pictures/Bad Hombre/Exurbia Films Goddamn, will somebody tell me why they keep making these movies. Battling itself for its first 30 minutes as to whether it preferred to be more inane or more annoying, this mess produced by the once-promising Fedé Alvarez is said to have taken its modernist cues … Continue reading Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)
Directed by William Malone Trans World Entertainment A fairly shameless ripoff/amalgam of Alien and The Thing – I mean, you’ll be thinking this long before one of the characters actually mentions the latter damn movie herself – this picture also has the dubious distinction of being yet another low-budget would-be space epic, hampered at many a … Continue reading Creature aka Titan Find (1985)
Directed by Casey Tebo MFW Manufacturing/Warner Davis Company I selected this picture because it figured to be light entertainment, and because it was appropriately holiday-themed … and when you set your aim that low, it isn’t hard to hit your target. I mean, presuming the target is also low – which in this case, it … Continue reading Black Friday (2021)
SPACE RATS From Outer Space 