directed by dave parker Warner premiere/dark castle home entertainment/fever dreams llc/ludovico technique Maybe I’ve seen a few too many of these damn things, but a premise that seemed alluring as this story grew legs – obsessive fan seeks mythical lost slasher film – garnered much tarnish once a few too many knowing references were manifest. … Continue reading The Hills Run Red (2009)
directed by mike findlay An ed adlum and mike findlay production Glacially paced, predictable, and of little apparent budget, this feckless outing flaunts its amateur nature consistently throughout its 84 minutes. Ham-fisted edits! Complete disregard for continuity! (Events often appear to take place simultaneously in daylight and at nighttime.) Unconvincing “acting”! Also: what amounts to … Continue reading Shriek of the Mutilated (1974)
written and directed by Michael Dougherty bad hat harry productions/legendary pictures Taking a cue from what seemed a trustworthy source, I made this pic my Halloween viewing this year and was not disappointed. A hearty romp through four (sort of) interrelated stories, spun out in nonchronological fashion and represented in the guise of a comic … Continue reading Trick ‘r Treat (2007)
written & directed by kevin s. Tenney trimark pictures/Blue Rider Pictures It was surprisingly difficult to access this cinematic … accomplishment, but I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised, as the truly sublime can often be misunderstood in its own era and lost to the mists of time. Such a fate didn’t befall this assuredly … Continue reading Pinocchio’s Revenge (1996)
directed by kevin KÖlsch & Dennis widmyer di bonaventura pictures To its credit, here are some things this unbidden remake of an unloved movie doesn’t contain: Song-and-dance routines Postmodernism Dragons Folksy narration Superheroes A blaring “modern rock” soundtrack Auto-Tune That it also lacks any explanation for its existence is unimportant, since isn’t that the linchpin … Continue reading Pet Sematary (2019)
directed by willard carroll hyperion pictures/signature communications The rare piece of schlock horror whose major problem may be too much ambition, this farcical saga of a Viking werewolf wreaking havoc in the Art world of Manhattan – while being tracked by not only a dogged police detective but an archaeologist – is often sidetracked by vignettes of … Continue reading The Runestone (1991)
directed by jim wynorski concorde pictures/trinity pictures It’s a shame SPACE RATS has this capsule format, because the old me could’ve written thousands of words on the sociocultural implications of this classic. (The old me was a blast at parties.) That being said, it must be allowed that this is very nearly the perfect schlock … Continue reading Chopping Mall (1986)
directed by james felix mckenney glass eye pix/dark sky films Featuring the absolute worst creature costume since at least the embarrassing Howard the Duck, this production derails itself by punching above its class, so to speak. Ambition is a fine, fine attribute to possess, but man, if you do not have the budgetary capabilities to … Continue reading Hypothermia (2010)
directed by michael j. bassett lions gate entertainment More recent than the majority of the movies that will be discussed here, this offering is mainly psychological in effect, both for the characters and the audience. Set in the trenches of World War I, it very effectively conveys how miserable an experience that must have been. … Continue reading Deathwatch (2002)
