directed by kevin KÖlsch & Dennis widmyer di bonaventura pictures To its credit, here are some things this unbidden remake of an unloved movie doesn’t contain: Song-and-dance routines Postmodernism Dragons Folksy narration Superheroes A blaring “modern rock” soundtrack Auto-Tune That it also lacks any explanation for its existence is unimportant, since isn’t that the linchpin … Continue reading Pet Sematary (2019)
directed by willard carroll hyperion pictures/signature communications The rare piece of schlock horror whose major problem may be too much ambition, this farcical saga of a Viking werewolf wreaking havoc in the Art world of Manhattan – while being tracked by not only a dogged police detective but an archaeologist – is often sidetracked by vignettes of … Continue reading The Runestone (1991)
directed by jim wynorski concorde pictures/trinity pictures It’s a shame SPACE RATS has this capsule format, because the old me could’ve written thousands of words on the sociocultural implications of this classic. (The old me was a blast at parties.) That being said, it must be allowed that this is very nearly the perfect schlock … Continue reading Chopping Mall (1986)
directed by james felix mckenney glass eye pix/dark sky films Featuring the absolute worst creature costume since at least the embarrassing Howard the Duck, this production derails itself by punching above its class, so to speak. Ambition is a fine, fine attribute to possess, but man, if you do not have the budgetary capabilities to … Continue reading Hypothermia (2010)
directed by michael j. bassett lions gate entertainment More recent than the majority of the movies that will be discussed here, this offering is mainly psychological in effect, both for the characters and the audience. Set in the trenches of World War I, it very effectively conveys how miserable an experience that must have been. … Continue reading Deathwatch (2002)
SPACE RATS From Outer Space 