Written And Directed By John Logan
Bh/Desert Wolf
You know, if you’re a horror movie kinda person, you might make some general allowances for films made in your preferred idiom. For example, imagine, oh, I don’t know … maybe a “slasher” flick that takes place at … oh, let’s say a “camp.” With such a familiar setup, you therefore might reasonably expect certain motifs, themes, tropes, what-have-you. And when all the stuff you more or less expect happens, it’s more or less what you’re willing to accept.
Except familiarity breeds contempt, and in this made-for-TV “Peacock original,” there are multiple problems. After the not-unforeseeable reveal is, well, revealed, it just doesn’t pass muster, a literally unbelievable gaffe that’s a disastrous last choice for Their underwhelming genre attempt.
I had higher hopes for this picture. I did appreciate the mild pronoun joke (poorly aped just above). And though I’ll grant that one must start somewhere in working out how to approach broadening the scope of flicks like these, this attempt mainly just shoehorns orientation/gender topics into an unimaginative template. I began this piece by pointing out my willingness to play along, but – ironically enough – this production mainly comes across like it’s not sure what it really wants to be.
Uninspired even by stock horror standards, it feels as though it was written around its cliché bonding moment – a musical number.
Why Did I Watch This Movie?
In another review, I suggested a “slasher movie where the trans character breaks the usual archetype,” and imagined that potential addressed here.
Should You Watch This Movie?
Spoiler alert: It doesn’t come close, but one character (“Jordan”) takes a tentative step.
Highlight and Low Point
HEY DIDJA KNOW THE TITLE’S PRONOUNCED “THEY SLASH THEM”
That attempted witticism’s not even an accurate synopsis!
SPACE RATS From Outer Space 