Event Horizon (1997)

directed by paul anderson
golar productions/impact productions/paramount pictures

I’m allowed to say I’m not impressed by the résumé of a guy who mostly makes video-game movies, right? ‘Cause, see, the thing is, I don’t give a fig about video games, or gaming, or anything related to video games and gaming. Know what else apparently doesn’t interest me much? Space horror …  at least of this ilk. This movie is basically The Shining-meets-The Thing on board the Nostromo. Everything that happens in this movie happens in every other movie like this one. It coulda used Jason Voorhees, or at least a wisecracking robot.

why did i watch this movie?

I needed to watch something from the ’90s again, and SOME people I know have a soft spot for this production, so I gave it a shot.

should you watch this movie?

If you’ve seen enough space terror epics, you already have, man, you already have.

highlight and low point

Okay, like, I have a really hard time suspending my disbelief, you know – which I grant is kinda ridiculous given that I watch all these pictures that aren’t exactly grounded in reality – and a certain sequence in this film absolutely could not happen, for any variety of reasons. (Note: I am not talking about the obligatory “people manage not to get sucked out of a spaceship despite a breach in the hull” scene; at this point, one learns to expect this trope, and rolls with it.) Now, sure, you wish to note that this production concerns a spaceship that can generate its own black hole in order to bend/fold/spindle/mutilate space/time, so neither could any of the rest of it, and you’re right, you’re right, and … and where in the hell was I?

rating from outer space: c−

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