Mortuary (1983)

directed by howard avedis
hickmar productions, inc.

I’m going to reference it again, so let’s just go ahead with a shout-out to Hanna-Barbera: They knew what they were doing when they produced Scooby-Doo, Where Are You? You see, when viewing productions such as this somewhat lethargic attempt at a murder mystery, tropes commonplace to those cartoons continually arise. Here, dashes of occult nonsense and some bitchin’ early ’80s Southern Cal touches are added to the template. A scare or two possibly may be found somewhere in this tale of (ominous pause) madness, but you’ll most likely be too busy laughing at some of the affectations – or more probably starting to doze off as the plot chugs along repetitiously. It could have worked, I suppose, but there just isn’t a whole lot to work with, to its detriment. Oh – hackneyed freeze-frame “surprise” at the ending. Woo-hoo.

why did i watch this movie?

As I’ve mentioned before, I have this fixation on trying to find movies featuring people who have to spend the night in tombs, sepulchres, crypts and so forth. This is NOT such a movie, as I may have entirely imagined the category, but I couldn’t pass on it anyway.

should you watch this movie?

It does not feature anyone trying to spend the night at any sort of gravesite.

It’s also not very interesting.

highlight and low point

Early in the proceedings, the two leads go to a roller rink (check the year of release) with the enticing name of “Skating Plus.” FUN FACT: A “Skating Plus” currently operates in Ventura, but has only been open since 1984 so it cannot be the same venue. Speaking of the early ’80s, it’s never a good sign when the end credits of a movie give “1981” as its provenance though it didn’t see release until March of ’83.

rating from outer space: D+

proper tool storage

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